Bloody Tales

"What surprised him was the fact that an educated man would ever do this. He had been innocent enough to assume that the educated had excised all prejudice from themselves and would never delight in injury to others - that is, he believed that they had easily attained the goal he himself was struggling toward. He did not know that this goal - which he considered the one truthful goal man should strive toward - was often not even considered a goal by others, educated or not."

"Mercy Among the Children" by David Adams Richards

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Dear Kate,

So this is it, after this letter I am going to write less.  I am afraid the many propositions I am hiding behind are making me a dangerous person, but not dangerous enough.

You know why people can go to church week after week with absolutely no expectation, reverence less than what they would give to their pet, attention more scattered than when hunting online for the next "best find"?

Because, for want of a better adjective, the whole religious proposition is all expository, and worse, to explain what we the faithful think we already know--and know better.

How so?  Well, after we "worshiped," nothing changes, and that, is a big part of doing religion, to expect God to stay on my side and shake my world not.  It's meant to be, as Cohen puts it, "middle class and tame."  We come with nothing (if at all), expect nothing, and leave with, not strangely enough, even less than before.  It's a very despicable exercise.

One says to God, "Not so! How do we despise you?"  I will let Him take this one.

Exposition is "writing or speech primarily intended to convey information or to explain."  Whereas there's a place for it, such as in expounding on why we should practise social distancing or wear a mask or even care for the vulnerable, if this sort of language is the only talk in town, then we the speakers are in the business to dispel mystery.

What's the harm in that, we ask?  We don't want to act muddle-headedly, right?  If there's a curve to be flattened, then let's make sure everyone gets the picture of a line going up and down.  If there are groups out there that are known to be the "most vulnerable" in our society, then let's all come together and act on that knowledge, to give privilege to the underprivileged, to make human what sounds subhuman, to eradicate ungodly sights and smells in the name of God.

What's the harm in that?  What do you think?

I am not going to answer here, not because I can't but because I won't.  I won't give an answer that one could read the way all my previous letters were read, like they are the rant of a madman with too much time on his hand in the morning.  Like sermons one could walk in with indifference and pick lines out to sermonize others.  Like whatever the hell was spoken, what's there to say anyway?

I have no further explanation to give, but I have stories to tell.  Stories, for example, about people doing good good things for bad bad reasons.  Stories of hubris and hypocrisy and mercy among God's children.  Dangerous stories, stuffs that people can't just turn the page and walk away from, no tidy proposition to dismiss, no neat sentiment to subscribe to.  Dangerous stuffs that provoke such trouble and resentment in us that we want to hang the storyteller on a piece of wood and watch his blood dry.

Stories maybe I will write one day.

Yours, Alex