Brake to Go

I believe that it is possible that those who have attained every dream may be at least as impoverished as the man at the dump—perhaps even more—as they bask in the accolades, knowing that the charade is shattered by the aloneness within them. We soon realize that the contrast between the two may only be in the access to “things” and in the adulation received, and that it is not necessarily true that in one the greatest hunger—not only to dream, but for the dream to deliver what was hoped for—has been fulfilled. That is the ultimate hope.

“Recapture the Wonder” by Ravi Zacharias

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Dear Alex,

Sometimes humor recaptures wonder.

For the second time, my daughter’s road test was scheduled yesterday evening. Her first appointment had been canceled at the wake of stay-home restrictions two months ago.

In this time regained, she was ready. Gloved and masked, she claimed the driver’s seat behind the steering wheel next to the examiner, who too mirrored her look in gloves and mask behind another set of steering wheel, clutches and brakes. Then metal and mind vanished at the turn of the road.

Within a half-turn of the hour, they returned to the parking lot. My daughter emerged from the examiner’s car, laughing as she approached me. There would be a third re-appointment, she said before asking: Is someone trying to stop me from passing this road test?

It turned out at the start of her road test, just as she had engaged the brake pedal at an intersection, the car failed to respond. Under “normal circumstances”, her halting step would have been timed with the evening rush hour but in this pandemic setting, nothing was normalized and the roads remained barren. And it is at this crossroad of crisis and barrenness where the lonesome road was stripped of its regularities, the pair of teen driver and seasoned examiner loses control to grasp wonder.

When normal mechanisms defy standard expectations engineered to normalize your mechanics of rising and falling in and out of bed, seat, role, dump or fame, do you wonder who or what may stop you from passing onto the next appointment, intersection, charade of aloneness within you? When was the last time you laugh in childlike wonder about losing control?

Brakes are saving grace. Full stops on asphalt and dreams drive wonder with humor recaptured. Chuckle a bit, will you, at my failing? Delight in our ceased plans and unchecked boxes, won’t we? Laugh in rolls as mud slops on pie and pleasure for diner and donkey. Slam on brakes to go further in humor on wonder.

The two figures noted in the quote by Ravi Zacharias - the fully accomplished man and the one foraging at the dump - speak of one man: attainment is not fulfillment. We can be perpetually groping for something precious in the dump, rummaging through gold and not recognizing its worth even in our grip. The time to pause in search or chase - to suspend control and upend the dump - could not have been better timed than now out of our bubble.

Yours, Kate