Lust, Caution

Dear Kate,

Talk to our kids about sex, how?  And what to say?  Don't have it? have less of it? have it safer? have it only after marriage? get married so that you can have it?

And then what, even if married?  Lust wouldn't leave us alone, and we wouldn't leave lust alone either: that's why it is called lust.

We need to lust for something, worship someone, to feel alive, worthy, meaningful.  What we do may not be always sexy but the drive in us is often sexual: we desire to be desirable in the eyes of our beholder.

We want our story to sound legit to those who are reading us, friends and families and colleagues in close distance, the One True Love down the road we dream to meet who will finally see us for who we really are: more than merely acceptable or serviceable, but most lovable, most embraceable, the most fascinating, attractive, alluring mystery of life!  We long to be sexed up like what only sex will do.

Of course we feel disgusted by our own cravings.  Surely we aren't as beautiful and captivating as we dream ourselves to be.  Surely if sex is what we think sex should do we should deserve not much of it, petty and confused and self-pitying as we often are.  Can anyone ever open to us so urgently without instantly uncovering the ugly truth, that there is not much to discover in us?

There are apps, I heard, people would use to arrange to meet up for sex, like going to the gym together, for a friendly soccer match and bubble-tea after.  I've read somewhere a user said, Everything is ok, in-and-out like any other busy-ness, but I don't let them kiss my lips.  That's for my boyfriend.  The One True Love who has never been and probably shall never be.

Talk to our kids about sex?  We don't even want to talk to ourselves about it.  Everything is a painful blur when you are a beggar for love.  Pornography is our stop-gap solution, the grind of a day to dull the sharp edge of hunger, the falseness of real money a counterfeit we can count and always count on.  We are having bad sex all day long.

If there is a warning sign about sex, we should wear it on our front and back.

Yours, Alex

PS. I know you are busy.  But do stop and watch the 2-minute video I posted above.  Blessings.