No. Family. Teaching.

"The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. "

― C.S. Lewis

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Dear Kate,

The worst thing you can say in Chinese about a child is 冇家教, "no family teaching."

But that was back then, not now.  I don't know what it is now, no statistic to support my prejudice.

What I can say about today is that the same assessment can be given but read in more than one ways:

1. There is no family to teach, end of story
2. There is a family, as in blood relation, but not one that is meant to be an institute of teaching and learning, let alone being the first and last, highest and "ultimate"
3. There is a family but the teachers do not know how to teach
4. There is a family but the teachers are not allowed to teach
5. There is a family but no one wants to teach (probably due to #3 and/or 4)
6. There is a family but no one wants to learn (including the supposed teachers, naturally)

The reasons and implications of each can be teased out like threads of terry, and all of them just as messed up and offensive to the modern mind.

For example, what is the idea of a "homemaker" but men's way to suppress women?  Even worse by calling it an "ultimate career" so that the suppression can be utmost.

"Back then," 相夫教子 (to assist the husband and teach the children) is the preeminent virtue of a Chinese woman, now we read this as a death sentence to womanhood.

The truth is, it could be.  But in actual truth, was it?  Always?  Seldom?  Sometimes?  How many of our mothers were slaves?  You the modern woman will need to tease this one out.  History books and literature, observations and conversations, all available in abundance for you to think a little.

Just a little.

Since not much teaching or learning was done right from the get-go, we can't expect a great deal from each other.  Worse if I am to suggest a man actually should think any better than a woman (if thinking at all).  We are supposed to be perpetually goofing around, pretty boys charming the world but knowing our strict boundary, sports and pornography (the same thing) catharses for our manhood, approved and cheered by our society with nothing but an open mind.

Enough thinking for today.

Yours, Alex